I'd like to begin this entry by sending out a big WOOT to the Stanley Cup winning boys of the Tampa Bay Lightning (mmmm, feel that nice breeze from the big flag I'm waving?). I remember going to Lightning games quite a few times when I was a youngin'. I went with my best friend of the moment-you could get nosebleed seats for only fourteen bucks. ...I think I spent most of my time rooting for the other team, especially when I saw them playing the Rangers(I got to see The Great One play! Woot). That was back when their home rink was called the Ice Palace (do you FEEL the power...of the PALACE?) and they didn't sell out and call it the St. Pete Times Forum(Jesus, which name is worse???) I am super duper surprised they won, but I am happy for them. And how funny is it that a team from south Florida, whose nickname is "The Sunshine State," beat a team from fucking CANADA? Canada. They, like, invented hockey, didn't they? They eat, drink, sleep, and breathe hockey, don't they? They have pucks on their fucking currency, don't they? They could tell you the score of a game from 1977 before they could name their own mother, couldn't they? So, yeah. Heh. Flames suck. BOLTS BABY!

In other news, I am surprised how many of you don't drink soda. What a healthy bunch of readers I have. Or maybe I just have a bunch of LIARS reading me that don't want to help me out. Heh, just kidding. You guys wouldn't lie to me...right?

So, yesterday, and I wouldn't mention this if it wasn't at the forefront of my mind, I had this really piss-your-pants scary nightmare about a bunch of states, including Florida, being simultaneously hit by nuclear warheads. It was extremely vivid and real (except for one part: no one in the dream said what a million and one people would have said if it had been real: "this is all a dream, right?" And that, my friends, is irony) that when I woke up I had to force myself NOT to go in my mother's room, wake her up, and ask her in my patented confused way "ummm, we weren't hit by nuclear warheads...were we?" (which she would inevitably answer in her patented confused-I-can't-believe-you-woke-me-up-for-this way "what? Go back to sleep and get out of my room. *click of door locking*)(I also had a dream where I found an incredibly small stray pup and my mom agreed to let me keep it but then it up and died. I hate my fucking subconcious. Why do we even have to have dreams at all? Or why can't we at least control what they are about ("I'm just here to deliver pizza, ma'am." "And I got your tip right here."))This nightmare has apparantly awakened in me an until now dormant crippling fear of nukes. I don't watch anything about Reagan dying because, well, for one, the world is always better off with one less Republican(I'm sorry, that was really incredibly mean. There are good Repubicans out there, like Sezzy, who is not only a Republican but a Red Sox fan, so you know she must be really good) but because when I think of Reagan I think of the Cold War and nukes. Nukes man. Fucking Russia, with their weird language and funny dances and their "hey man, check us out, we don't need to be a part of Europe or Asia, because our borders are so big they touch both! So take that!" Yeah, FUCK YOU RUSSIA! I know you still haven't gotten over us winning that hockey game in the Olympics. And the Middle East, with their fucking nukes too. FUCK YOU MIDDLE EAST. Why don't you put the nukes away, stop fighting over a piece of land smaller than my fucking ass crack, and stop being so jealous of America? It's not our fucking fault that you suck and we rule. Although Middle East, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and say this: if I had to live in that heat all the time without air conditioning, yeah, I'd want to kill too. But I spent about nine months in a dorm room in Florida without air conditioning, so it's almost the same thing, and I didn't make any fucking nukes. So just chill the fuck out, alright? I transferred to another school, I'm sure you could work something out and transfer to another part of the globe. Like Antartica. No one lives there but penguins and some scientists. And it's a huge place, so you can bring all the countries with you and not have to fight for decades.

So, um, what the FUCK was this entry about? Whatever. Nukes suck! Bolts rule!

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