According to the clock on my computer, it is after midnight.

This means it is officially Ash Wednesday.

This means that a bunch of crazy Catholics(are there any other kind?) that will gather at their local church, crowding it to the point of violating some fire safety laws(because this is the time of the year where those Catholics who only go to church once a year come out of the woodwork, since Easter is the biggest holiday of the year)(I REALLY resent these people) line up to have a cross put on our foreheads like some tattoo made of ashes.

And no matter how hard you try, it doesn't come off until two days later.

This also means that tomorrow and every Friday after that I will not be allowed to consume meat until Easter.

Hey, I can do that. I mean, I was actually a vegetarian for a few weeks(I think I lasted almost a month, and I can't remember why I gave up). And whenever I think about how much it sucks to not have meat, I think of what Jesus did for me.

(cue Saved By The Bell-esque fade into a glimpse of tomorrow night and every Friday night until Easter)

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!! I CAN'T DO THIS!!!! OH FUCK THIS, I'M BECOMING A BUDDHIST! OH GOD, CAN'T I JUST HAVE ONE TEENY TINY MINISCULE PIECE OF MEAT? Okay, okay calm down. Just watch some tv and calm down. (*turns on tv*) What's this? A commercial for steak? AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!(end fade)

P.S. I know some of you will take this opportunity to take a jab at my Catholic faith. And to you I say, EAT ME. I don't make fun of your faith(unless you're a Hare Krishna or Scientologist, in which case you suck) or your lack of it so don't make fun of mine. It's something I hold dear to me and I really hate it when people do it, no matter how unserious they are.

0 comments so far
<< & >>