(For those of you that watch Family Guy, please imagine this being spoken in the voice of Peter's neighbor Joe Swanson. For the rest of you, please start watching Family Guy. Seriously, for the love of God. Do you, like, not like to laugh or something?)

YEAH!!!!! ALRIGHT!!!!! WOOT!!!!! AMERICA, YEAH!!!!! ALRIGHT!!!!! AMERICA RULES!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! ALRIGHT!!!!!

(Please note that I am drunk on America Love so this is stupid more stupid than usual.)

GodDAMNIT if I don't love me some motherfuckin' Independence Day. It is my favorite holiday behind Christmas.

I totally start crushing on America("Oh my America, those are some big civil liberties you have! Do you work out?")(Note:This joke would have been applicable if the country's civil liberties weren't taken away by George W. Bush. Please use your imagination).

Random: the conductor for the Boston Pops orchestra? Hot.

I foresee that when I become an adult, I'm going to be one of those people, I'm sure we all know one, that has a fucking fireworks aresenal for Independence Day. Half of my budget will be set aside for fireworks.

Although as much as I love fireworks, I gotta confess to you guys that every once and a while, for just a second in a small part of my brain, I revert back into The Little Girl That Was Scared of Fireworks (sidenote: a title, by the way, that has been passed on to my dog Blue. God Blue, just because we had your balls removed doesn't mean you have to act like it every time there's a loud noise. Jeeeeeeesus). I don't know what it is. You know what I hate? I hate the fireworks that make a sound when they're going up. I don't mind the "pop" of fireworks at all, but some of them make a "weeeeeeeeeee" sound as they're going up up up into the sky, and...it just makes me feel like I'm being bombed or something, ya know? Like I'm on the USS Arizona on December 7th. "Fire in the hole! FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!" and then I go run under the car(which doesn't do any good at all, because the two cars this family has are a Daewoo and a Kia. Damnit!).

*sigh* Oh America. I love you. Yuh huck. And other countries? Sorry, but we're better. Don't even try to pretend we're not. Sure, we're not perfect-*ahem* -and I know that that attitude got us hated by the rest of the world. But fuck it. Don't hate us cause we rule. You can't help it if you kick ass.

Happy Birthday U.S.A. (and also Courtney)

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