To all the mother's that read this: a very happy Mother's Day to you.

In case you can't tell, I've grown up in a tres liberal household. Like, liberal to the point of my mother would rather see me grow up to be a crack whore than vote Republican.

This liberal attitude has carried over into every part of my life, including my views on sex. I'm very live and let live. I mean, some of the things that people like, while I don't approve of it, if I stretch my mind I can certainly see why they are turned on by it. Maybe because I am an incredibly incredibly filthy weird pervert myself (like, you guys have no idea), I sympathize, ya know? But there are some things that even I can't get behind(no pun intended). With the rise of the internet and the ability of people with similar interests to bond and not feel alone, gajillions upon gajillions of websites have popped up (again, no pun intended) for every fetish imaginable. Now, considering all the freaky deaky things there are out there, for me to narrow it down to three is not that bad, I don't think. So, I'd like to present to you: Sarah's Unholy Trinity of Sex Fetishes.

Right smack dab at the top of the list is

1) Bestiality

I am not one to be easily grossed out. Really, I'm not. But every time I get one of those spams with "girls jacking off horses" or some other filthy shit, I throw up a little in my throat and crawl into a ball going "EWW EWWW EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!" for a few seconds before reporting the spam to AOL or Hotmail. I don't remember how I found out about bestiality, but I just remember being utterly shocked and appalled that not only would performers in the porn industry submit themselves to this, but that people ACTUALLY WANTED TO SEE IT. I'm sorry, but in my eyes, people that participate in or are turned on by this are complete and absolute degenerates. I'll see you in hell maggots.

2) Rape fantasies

Now seriously, what the fuck is this? This may bother me more than the normal person because just for me personally being raped is one of my absolute biggest fears, if not my biggest. The fact you would actually ask someone to do this to you indicates to me that you are three levels beyond fucked up and that you need help more than anyone.

3) Cast porn

This is something I stumbled on a couple of days while searching for song lyrics (is there any search you can do where a porn site doesn't come up these days?). Have you guys heard of this stuff? Apparantly, there are people that get turned on by girls getting casts put on their arms. The girls aren't naked or doing anything, just getting the cast put on. After I got over the initial "umm...the fuck? Y-you're serious with this?" I actually thought this was a nice little fetish, because the women aren't being forced into doing something degrading, ya know? But then I got completely creeped out to the point of nightmares because I realized what they were doing. These perverts were taking something completely non-sexual, and fetishizing it. What creeped me out was my totally fucked up thought process going off thinking about what other seemingly non-sexual things they have done this to. Like, were there kids that had to quit school because they had a constant boner because of, like...fluorescent lights? "Ahhh fuck yeah, shine those 120 volts on me you fucking light. Yeahhh...go for it."

JESUS CHRIST, THAT IS SO WRONG.

I have to go now. I just got a new pack of college-ruled paper, and I'm all hot and bothered.

Edited to add: I should have thought of all the disgusting Google's I'm going to get because of this. Shit...

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