06.26.04 @ 11:25 A.M.
The One With The Unexpected Sex Dream
My dog Blue ( ) sleeps in my bed with me.
Now, I don't know if this is a common thing with all dogs, I know my aunt said her dog Hershey does it, but Blue apparantly has very vivid dreams and they make him twitch like crazy. It's like he's having a seizure or something.
So at around 2:15 in the morning, I was in that half-awake, half-asleep state, having a pleasant little fantasy about Hugh Jackman's (as Wolverine) man chest when the bed starts to shake on Blue's side, Exorcist style.
At first, my groggy mind thought it was just his regular dream twitching. But then as I woke up more, I realized something wasn't kosher so I finally look over at him and...
Oh. Oh my God.
My mattress! Was being violated!!!
Yeah. He was pretty much humping the mattress. THE HELL? No, what is that? No, seriously. What. Is. That?
I woke him up from the apparantly "highly erotic" dream he was having and that fucker slept out in the living room. Asshat.
I am constantly surprised by how much like a human Blue is. And dogs aren't even the animal most like humans. Chimps are. What are they, like 98 or 99 percent like us, DNA wise? I bet if a chimp slept in your bed, he'd tell you that he dreamed about falling and showing up to school naked.
Heh. Chimps are cute. I want one.
Awwwwwwww
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