|
|
05.12.05 @ 11:29 A.M.
The One With A High Pricetag Before I begin, I'd like to share with you the following exchange from this week's episode of Family Guy that made me laugh so hard I may have actually run out of laughter.
Peter Griffin, after his son Chris asks him how to get a girl to like him:You just gotta do something simple, like Vincent Van Gogh.
[flashback to Vincent Van Gogh sitting on a couch with his girlfriend, who is looking in a small box]
Girlfriend: Ooooh! It's a...what is this?
Vincent: (happily) It's my ear! Do you like it? (girlfriend grimaces) (sadly)Yo-you don't like it.
Girlfriend: No no no, I like it. It's just...why your ear?
Vincent: (quickly and matter-of-factly) Because I love you.
Girlfriend: Well, at least this'll be a funny story to tell our kids one day!
Vincent: Ohhhhhhh, you want kids? Ohhh. Yikes. Uh...I wish you would've told me that before I got you this...(pulls out a box the length of a penis)
 I'm so grateful I live in a time where I got to see that.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, since I last posted an entry that wasn't a meme, I've left my teenage years forever and turned 20 and I got out of school. Normally, birthdays and summer vacation are two things guaranteed to make me happy. But instead, I didn't want to celebrate my birthday as I have somehow ended up with enough wrinkles to make me look like I'm three times my actual age (having botulism injected into my face does not seem so insane now) and summer vacation means work work work.
You see, I am attempting to study abroad in Italy for the spring semester of this year. I found a perfect program that has everything I want but, alas, it costs over $15,000.
Looking at that number makes my soul hurt. I mean, yes, we're going to be doing so much and it'll be worth it but seriously? That's close to like half a year's salary for a teacher. You would think with such a heart-attack inducing pricetag they'd give you a couple of generations of your ancestors to pay it off, but no! It has to be paid within a couple of months of signing up. And my mom will help, like she always does, and there's scholarships and financial aid, but still.
So, hence my need to work my ass off as much as possible. I'm waiting to hear from one job I applied for at Hilton Reservations Worldwide. Now, even though working for the Hilton corporation completely goes against the good fight I'm fighting to utterly destroy Paris Hilton until she is curled up in the fetal position in a ghetto in Guatemala begging for mercy (and money), the pay is good, the dress is casual, and most importantly, the work is minimal. All I'd be doing is taking inbound calls from people wanting to make reservatiions. Besides, Hilton is pretty ritzy. Maybe I'll have to take a reservation for a celebrity.
Me: Good afternoon, Hilton Reservations Worldwide. My name is Sarah, how can I help you today?
Derek Jeter: Hi. This is Derek Jeter. I'd like to reserve a room in Tampa. Even though that makes no sense because I actually have a house in Tampa because I live there in the off season and the Yankees have spring training there but hey, this isn't my fantasy now is it?
Me: Okay Mr. Jeter, I see you're a Ruby VIP member. That entitles you to a complimentary Sarah Franco in your room. Would you like to take adavantage of me, er that offer?
Derek Jeter: Sure.
Me: Heh heh. Alllllright.
Also, when I went to apply for the job, oddly enough I ran into the one guy at USF who I find attractive. We met in my Latin class. I was actually sad when we done with that class because I knew it meant I'd never see him again because he had made it clear time and time again he hated Latin and didn't want to continue with it. So when I saw him walk in my jaw dropped and I was rendered speechless for a few seconds. I mean, come on, what are the freakin' odds? Especially since this was the part of the application process where applicants took a writing and typing test and there were like, over 10 different times he could've chosen and he chose the same one I did!!! That's not just scientific proof of the existence of God, it's proof that clearly, God loves me the mostest.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Since it is May, we Floridians now are forced to deal with bugs that fly around everywhere you go fucking. Be grateful you don't live here.
0 comments so far
<< & >>
|
| silly hats only | taste:a lovely combination of vomit and mouthwash
wear:a t-shirt that says "looking for peace of mind...or piece of pizza." i think we all know which I'd prefer
hear:the sounds of people typing
feel:sick
think:i'm going to be up all night because i waited until the last minute to do an assignment. I'll NEVER LEARN.
| | i am a banana. | - - 11.18.05
The One With All The Pajamas - 10.25.05
The One For Mom - 10.03.05
The One With The Paragraphs Seperated By Song Titles - 08.18.05
The One With Two New Additions To The Family (And Dirty Movies) - 07.13.05
| | i'm feeling fat & sassy | quote o' the day
"People call me the Bry man; I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.
"-Brian Fantana, Anchorman:The Legend of Ron Burgundy
|
|
