Used to be that I was very confident in my sexuality.

Used to be I didn't question my heterosexuality at all.

Sure, I made jokes about really wanting to be a lesbian because men SUCK ASS, but, I mean, what woman doesn't? It was cool. I knew I was boy crazy.

Then I started watching Alias.

Specifically, I watched the first scene of an episode of Alias where Jennifer Garner struts down a hallway while one of the, if not THE, greatest song of all time, "Back in Black" rocks the socks off the soundtrack wearing only this(oh my God, call Guinness, I just wrote the longest motherfucking sentence on the face of the earth):

Heh. Heh heh. Hehhhhhhhhhhhhhhjlkjdadddddddd

Wha-huh? What? What was I saying? Oh, right.

So yeah. I see that. This is the conversation that goes on between two very differing aspects of my brain*:

Until Now Dormant Lesbian Side: Woah.

Side of me that apparantly is afraid of being gay:Uh...dude?

DormantLesbian(DL):What?

ApparantHomophobe(AH):Dude! That's a chick!

DL:Yeah. I know. So?

AH:SO? Dude. Come on.

DL:Dude. LOOK AT HER. I mean, damn. Damn. DAYUM.

AH:Dude. I don't want to look at her. It's a woman in a bra and panties and, in case you've forgotten, I'M STRAIGHT.

Alias obsessed part of my brain:WOULD YOU BOTH SHUT THE FUCK UP?! I'm trying to watch the show!!!!

DL:Sorry dude.

AH:Yeah. Sorry dude.

Aliasobsessed: And stop saying dude so much. You sound like you're in a motherfucking Bill and Ted movie.

Part of my brain that loves Bill and Ted:"I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire." "And I'm Ted 'Theodore' Logan!" "And together we're:WYLD STALLYNS!"

Every part of my brain:SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

*Note:I am not schizophrenic. I just use serious mental disorders for a laugh. Teehee!

Anyway, the point is: that scene? Fucking HOT dude. I mean, seriously, if you're a guy and you don't want to hit that? Well, I'm gonna have to go ahead and assume that you're here, you're queer, and we should get used to it.

And don't even get me started on Lena Olin.

Ahhh, Lena. My little Swedish meatball of pleasure and delight. Come back to the show, won't you? Everyone misses you. <3

Oh Alias. What are you doing to me??? Making me have all these girl crushes. I never had one before you, and haven't had one since. Wait. That's not true. I also have a total girl crush on Naomi Watts.

But that's different. She's so talented that clearly she is not of this planet, so it doesn't really count.

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