Yesterday when I went to Wal Mart, I saw a calender just with pictures of outhouses.

Now...I'm gonna repeat this, because I'm not sure you're taking the journey with me.

It was a calender...with pictures...of outhouses.

Twelve months. Twelve different outhouses.

Now, when I say outhouse, I really do mean a hole in the ground with a roof over it where people who are too poor to have plumbing go to shit.

Sometimes, you just gotta sit back and ask yourself WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Does anyone really want to associate with someone who would purchase an outhouse calender? I'm just saying. (No offense to anyone who owns or is planning on purchasing an outhouse calender. Wait. I take that back. You're too weird, even for me.)

Also while we(my mom and I) were out, we graced four different stores with our presence looking for a certain spice. Seriously? It took about two hours. The store we find it at? The store half a mile from our house. We lost two hours of our lives, when it would've taken, what, five seconds? to drive to this store. I'm just saying. (A spice my mother didn't really need by the way.)

This weekend, I've watched two movies with Lena Olin in them. And, let me just say this: she is a fucking goddess. She's so good, I need to use italics when describing her. I love her. And also: she's the sexiest thing to come out of Sweden, like, EVER. That includes ABBA, thank you very much. If my head were to land say, oh, I don't know...between her legs? Welllll...I'm just saying. ("The Sarah action figure:now complete with lesbian innuendo action!")

Now, as a woman, I'm pretty much obligated to worship the ground Nora Ephron walks on. And I do. But sometimes her movies can get just a little too cute for this bitter single girl, and I can only stand so much. That being said...there is one scene in Sleepless in Seattle that I would happily oblige to watch for the rest of my life. If you've seen the movie: it's the scene where Rita Wilson starts talking about An Affair to Remember and then the guys start mocking her for getting so emotional over a movie. OH. MY. GOD. Seriously, I think this scene is the funniest thing in the world. I've watched it 1734087565601373 gajillion times and every time I still laugh my ass off. Seriously. Every time I don't laugh any less. And it's not just normal laughter. It's like laughter bad enough the neighbor's hear it. It's bad enough to crack a rib. And I just sit there. Watching it over. And over. And over. And OVER. Did you know nonsensical repetitive behavior is a common trait of mental illness? I'm just saying.

I'm just saying.(I've got nothing to put in parentheses for this one.)

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