I had the worst nightmare last night.

Alright, so I'm back in high school. More specifically, in gym class(that, by the way, took place in a gym that was a million times nicer than Ridgewood ever had).

So, in the beginning of class, the coach divides the class in half. One half(the half I was in, we'll call them set two) had to sit and watch the other half(set one) do their thing for a little while and then we could play.

So set one is then divided in half again, which just splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure(stole that from Family Guy by the way). So one half of set one, we'll call them set a, is going to be playing some basketball. The other half, set b, is told to sit in the bleachers and they'll be given their assignment later.

I hope to myself that when it comes time for set two to play, I hope I do what set b is doing, because at this point they are just sitting around and I am a big fan of sitting around. I also reminisce about how I can remember watching other kids play basketball even back in elementary school, and somehow this means my life has come full circle�but that�s not important to the other parts of the dream.

So the coach finally says set a can stop playing and now it�s time for set b to get their assignment.

And just what is it, you may ask?

They are the motherfucking HALFTIME ENTERTAINMENT.

That�s right. The coach starts playing some banal, clich� dance music like �Get Ready for This� by 2Unlimited(yeah I fucking know who did �Get Ready for This,� motherfuckers!) or something and they have to come up with a routine right then and there in front of everyone.

I start to feel sooo bad for them. But then I start to think about myself, because my selfishness doesn�t stop to sleep. I�m about to be put in a situation where either a) my fat 4�11� ass has to play a sport designed for tall fast people. I also especially hate basketball because, and even in the dream I fucking remembered this, back in seventh grade I used to be addicted to basketball. I would spend hours at the hoop in front of my house and even got a little good. One day in gym, I was forced to play basketball with a bunch of people in the class. I wasn�t really into it-gym was the last period of the day and I was always so anxious to get home plus there were a million and one hot eighth graders to distract me. So when I got the ball at one point I didn�t think, I just shot. And I made it! But apparently, somehow that got a point for the other team(???), earning me the wrath of my team. I was so fucking pissed off and embarrassed(but more pissed off). Have I picked up a ball since? Nope. Ok, enough trauma story, where was I? Oh right, or b) I�d have to dance. Ummm, ewww.

Luckily, this is when I woke. Thank God. What a fucking nightmare!!!

I think gym class is so stupid, and you certainly shouldn�t be forced to take it. Unless you�re athletic, for serious, all it does is make you feel like an incredible loser. And if you're sitting there asking yourself why things like Columbine happened, try being picked last. You don't know humiliation if that hasn't happened to you. You should do what you�re into. If you like art or music, take a bunch of those classes and stop putting such an emphasis on breeding us to be �well rounded.� Damn. We�re not characters in �The Courtier� or �The Prince� or any of those other books written during the Renaissance that are manuals on how a person should live.

But maybe it is better that everyone takes gym. Because say you don't. Then you�ll go into middle school thinking you�re the shit because you can play �Hot Cross Buns� on a recorder or something, and it'll hurt even more when you learn the sad truth that things haven�t changed since ancient Greece and the Gods still get a hard on for athletes. Stupid Zeus.

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*runs to hide from thunderbolt*

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