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my name's sarah, you can call me sarah, i like cats and elvis music and those bobblehead animals you can put on your car dashboard. mmmmm, pizza pie.

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01.09.04 @ 2:42 P.M.
The One Where Sarah Is Unpopular

For years and years and years, my name Sarah has been one of the most popular names for girls in America. It's always gotten in the top five. Now, mind you, that's Sarah with the 'h', not Sara, the poor man's way of spelling it(no offense to anyone reading this named Sara. But, come on, don't even front-you know you want the h. If only to be like me).

This year, Sarah didn't even make the top TWENTY!! I gotta say, I'm pretty disappointed and jealous. Especially considering the choices that DID make the top five. Madison? I don't know, always makes me think of a porn star or Colorado. Or a porn star shooting a movie in Colorado. Emma?! Damn you Friends!!!!! That's just an awful name. Abigail?!?!?! ABIGAIL??? I see, we've apparantly reverted back to the Revolutionary War!! Riley? What the? First of all, mannish name. Secondly...ummm...ok, there's no secondly. It's not that manly. I don't have anything bad to say about this one. Riley can stay. Chloe?!?!?! Now, that just makes me think of a 15 year old French prostitute with webbed feet!!! (Who remembers what movie that's from?)

Stuff like this makes me want to move out of the country.

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"People call me the Bry man; I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang. "-Brian Fantana, Anchorman:The Legend of Ron Burgundy