Am I the only one that's curious as to what it would be like to be a drug addict?

Seriously. I wonder what kind of feeling that first high must be that it gets you addicted to something that you know in the long run will ruin your life. It must be...incredible.

I remember back at the end of junior year or the very beginning of senior when my friends and I would make jokes about me being a drunkard, and one of the things I would say was "I'm not drunk, I'm comfortably numb." That phrase...it makes me tempted to do drugs or drink or both, because they will eventually just numb you to the world around you. And I'm realizing now that even though I thought I was unhappy in high school, in reality I was just numb and I want to get back to that state because it's much better than actual pain.

Well FUCK, this was melancholy, huh? I apologize

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