Note to Joe:

I understand the point you made about how it must be different, but I still can't wrap my mind around it. I mean, an ass is an ass. Maybe I'm just trying to come up with arguments to make gay men have sex with me.

AHEM. After that disturbing comment that maybe I shouldn't have posted here, on with the entry. Today Brian looked so hot. I have no idea why I thought he looked hotter than usual, but he did. And in the middle of class, he drew a heart and wrote Chris's name in it. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, it was so funny. He hurried to erase it though. I wish gay people didn't have to be scared to come out. Oh well. Ummm...hmmm...what else...oh, the song "Next Year" by the Foo Fighters has been in my head for about two weeks now, no joke, and since my aunt is bringing up my newly fixed computer tonight, I can FINALLY listen to it since I downloaded it back when downloading music was legal. I was so tired walking here I couldn't even pick up my feet. lol. I'm so sad at the prospect of going to my next class. It's so boring and I hate it so much. Up until Niki said something, I didn't realize I hadn't found anything positive about UF. I mean, I'm seriously unhappy. Perhaps its the classes I'm taking this semester(they all SUCK). I think I remember being happier over summer. Although I was happier, I don't think that I was as happy as my friends are now. But that may have been because Lakeside was extremely extremely anti-social and I wasn't about to go out and introduce myself because no one there seemed real nice so I didn't make any friends I could hang with since Lakeside is so far away from everything. Whatever. I'm going to wait and see if things change. I really hope to God they do. I know that this isn't what college is supposed to be like. It's supposed to be like what Niki and Karina and seemingly everyone NOT HERE is going through. I mean, its supposed to feel like "the right place," like Mrs. Zelenak said. It's not supposed to feel like a huge mistake. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm too picky. During middle school, I'd always think about how great high school would be and I couldn't wait to get out of there. In high school, I thought about college(although I imagined Notre Dame, not here) and I couldn't wait to get out of there. Now I'm at college and I'm thinking about the bigger and allegedly better things that will come when I graduate. When will I be satisfied? What exactly is it going to take to make Sarah Franco happy? The answer remains to be seen.

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